What do I do? My teenager is Lying and stealing.
I regularly have guardians get some information about youngsters or adolescents lying or stealing. My way to deal with the circumstance for the most part relies upon the age of the kid and what the lie is about or what the tyke is stealing. Now and again with adolescents I prescribe revealing the robbery to the police so guardians can get the assistance they require.
I recently read an article by Denise Rowden, a parent mentor for Enabling Guardians. She adopts a similar strategy that I prescribe to guardians and use with kids and keep young people away from stealing food at work. I have incorporated her remarks for you to peruse. These proposals are as I would like to think the best way to deal with managing lying and stealing food/cash. There are various reasons why adolescents turn to this conduct and you need to ensure you suitably survey this circumstance. This is critical so you can guarantee your young person gets the help that they require. I would say, youngsters who lie and take are shouting out for help particularly when they are getting captured all the time.
Has your kid been discovered stealing food or cash from you or another person? Have you discovered him utilizing your charge card for web based gaming, stealing cash from your wallet without asking, or notwithstanding stealing first-class things from your home? The outrage, dissatisfaction, and absence of believe you feel can be dangerous for your relationship. Enabling Guardians mentor Denise Rowden has some exhortation.
In the event that your youngster has been found stealing, you may have pondered, "For what reason would my kid do this in the wake of all that we've shown him?" Numerous guardians question their own capacities and ponder where they've turned out badly with their tyke when robbery is included. While it's baffling and disappointing for guardians when their kid takes, I immovably trust that much of the time, it's a conduct that can be changed.
I believe it's likewise essential to comprehend that there is a major distinction between youngsters younger than 6 stealing something contrasted with more seasoned children who takes. Extremely youthful children don't have a feeling of good and bad about this issue yet; their brains haven't sufficiently grown to consider outside themselves and about others. In the event that your more youthful tyke has been stealing things, center around showing him the abilities of sharing, requesting what he might want to have, and alternating. At the point when your youngster gets the chance to be somewhat more seasoned, you have to mentor him to state, "I'm sad, I shouldn't have taken that without inquiring." Yet you would prefer not to influence him to feel like he's a terrible individual, and don't mark it as stealing. Rather, make it clear that stealing something without asking isn't right.
More seasoned Children: Ensure Wrongdoing Doesn't Pay
On the off chance that your tyke is nine or more established and he's stealing things from you or others, you should treat the issue all the more truly. As James Lehman says, "Comprehend that your tyke is utilizing broken reasoning as an approach to take care of his concern." The "issue" may be that your ten– year– old needs another computer game, however doesn't have any cash. He "comprehends" it by stealing cash from your wallet without inquiring. He's likely reasoning, "I require this cash. Mother's not in any case going to take note." When you discover your kid utilizing this flawed reasoning, you can state, "since you need something doesn't mean it's alright to take it without inquiring." And after that ask, "What would it be advisable for you to do next time?"
It's critical that you don't enable your kid to keep what he took; he ought to never profit in any capacity from stealing something from another person. You absolutely never need stealing to pay off.
At the point when Your Kid Uses Your Credit card
I've conversed with numerous guardians whose children have utilized their Visa to purchase something on the web—regularly, they've utilized it for gaming. Regardless of whether the cash is gone and can't be recovered, don't let your tyke free. He can present appropriate reparations by accomplishing something additional around the house to work it off. For instance, he can wipe out the storm cellar, the carport, or do yard work. Most importantly you need to attempt to educate your kid to present appropriate reparations to the individual he's wronged—for this situation, you. I additionally prescribe that you sign on to your Visa account much of the time, every day if vital, to screen your card's action.
At the point when Your Kid steals Expensive Things: Are Drugs Involved?
In the event that your tyke is stealing a lot of cash or first-class things from your home, I think you have to address why. On the off chance that you figure drugs may be included, there are most likely different signs that are disclosing to you that your youngster has an issue, similar to changes in inclination or identity. You should investigate the likelihood that he's stealing medications and discount it.
In the event that you know your youngster has an issue however you haven't possessed the capacity to get him off drugs or into treatment, at that point think about revealing his burglaries to the police to get him into the adolescent equity framework. Numerous states now have tranquilize court, where kids don't need to serve sentences in an adolescent confinement focus insofar as they're in treatment and clean. In the event that you speculate drugs, detailing dreary robbery to the police can be a decent strategy.
Here's reality: a tyke who is never made to be responsible will never gain from his missteps. In your own particular home, have your children offer some kind of reparation as straightforwardly to you or the harmed party as could be expected under the circumstances. This drives home the significance of what they've really done, and tells them that their activities have made mischief somebody.
When stealing Proceeds
In the event that your tyke can't quit stealing, you have to help make everything fair for him by discovering what's making this occur again and again. You likewise should need to secure things in your home and keep your wallet in a sheltered place consistently until the point that your kid can figure out how to take care of his issues all the more properly.
I need to pressure that regardless of whether you're stressed over your kid's character, don't give him a chance to surmise that you feel he's an awful, unpleasant individual. Or maybe, you have to pass on the inverse: that he needs to present appropriate reparations and make the best decision. You need to state things like, "I know it's hard, yet I trust you can do it." When you change your sentiment of your youngster as a man and begin believing that he's "awful" or that there's a major issue with his character, there is awesome potential to hurt the relationship. Your kid will detect that you have a poor sentiment of him and could begin to lose trust in his capacity to ever change.
On the off chance that your kid keeps on stealing things from you, you should immovably address his broken reasoning. There might be a passionate need or impulsivity that drives his conduct. There are likewise numerous individuals who call the Help Line with embraced kids who take from their families. Not every single received child take obviously, but rather some of the time kids with horrible foundations may experience difficulty putting stock in other individuals to address their issues, so they take nourishment and different things and accumulate them.
At the point when Your Kid Denies the Burglary
I regularly tell guardians, "On the off chance that you know for beyond any doubt that your youngster has stolen something, act with that learning. Simply say, 'I feel that you utilized my charge card since you needed to download a few tunes from iTunes. What's more, I will approach you to present appropriate reparations in light of that.'" On the off chance that you don't know for certain and your kid denies the burglary, at that point I don't figure you can give him an outcome. You would prefer not to blame your kid for something that he hasn't done, in light of the fact that it can wind up truly exploded backward on you. He may carry on the grounds that you trust he's equipped for it. Essentially, unless you get your kid red– gave, I wouldn't rebuff him.
I comprehend that guardians feel hurt and deceived after their youngster has stolen something. Yet, do whatever it takes not to take the way that he stole actually. It's not about you and your child rearing—it's about your kid and the improper ways he's stealing care of his issues right now.
Contributions: Dr. Michael Rubino
Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience as a psychotherapist working with children and teenagers.